Where are your parents?

Have you ever heard the saying, “It seems those who have several kids don’t want them, while countless others are trying to have children to no avail.”?

If you haven’t then perhaps I made it up ; )

As a school psychologist intern, I hear children, yes children say some of the most disturbing things in school hallways. Now this is mostly on the middle and high school level. Thank God it isn’t as blatant with my babies on the elementary school level, but it still happens.

There are more than a few children today who are so grown when it comes to the words that fly out of their mouths, and even the actions they participate in, (i.e. early sexualization) yet they are so immature in their behaviors because, as I have mentioned before, they are only children.

No matter how quickly their “hormone-enraged and steroid-fed” bodies may develop, the brain and mindset of a child is what they possess.

I often reflect on my own childhood and the terrible things I said to fit in or so I wouldn’t look like “a punk”. Yeah “light-skinned with long hair…’thank’ she all dat” is what I battled occasionally during elementary and middle school in a setting where middle class African Americans met their lower-income counterparts.

Despite my semi-delinquent ways, my family and school teachers did not have a clue because I was a good child (overall) who had sense enough not to exhibit such behaviors in front of adults. ; ). In addition to this sense, I desired to be held in a high esteem by my family and my teachers. As a result, I respected all adults, and carried myself in a respectable manner in front of them. Don’t get me wrong, though I tried to “be-down” at times, my peers still knew me as a “church-girl who loves The Lord.”

Whew… I’ve thrown out a lot of labels here! I blame it on the stigmatizing society we live in. ; )

My whole point in discussing all of this is, what happened to the parents and children fearing them?

Yes I know, my perception is skewed because of the population I work with on a day-to-day basis; however, I still feel safe in saying,

Where are the parents?

Where are the mentors?

Hence my recent establishment of Ruth-Heart Ministry (TM), a volunteer agency that pairs girls from underserved populations with positive adult women mentors in the metro-Atlanta area.

If you would like to learn more about this organization or chip in, in anyway, do feel free to contact me.

Take care and God bless!

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and we he is old he will not depart from it.”~Proverbs 22:6

Blackness Extinguished

As I struggle to write the first sentence of today’s post, I am deliberately forcing myself to go back to the strong feelings I had yesterday. I distinctly recall driving to class from internship feeling burdened by the impending conversation on race and ethnicity that awaited me. This week’s readings in my Advanced Developmental Psychology course were centered around this topic, ironically a current trending topic-due to the recent murder of the Florida teen, Trayvon Martin.

Research suggests that conversations of this caliber are necessary in America and around the world if we are to evade the extinguishment of Blackness – the rocky shore of which the waves of society are currently crashing.

Said differently, as an African American, or globally labeled as Black/ a part of the African diaspora, woman; I look forward to a day when people who share my race (social construct designed for categorization, with no biological foundation) and ethnicity (cultural background – not mutually exclusive) will be valuable to society.

I also look for a day when more of my White counterparts will step out of the lens of White privilege (if you are not familiar with the research on this concept – I encourage you to go get your scholar on today ; ) and attempt to relate to the heart of a man instead of negatively judging him on his physical attributes and cultural behaviors.

I look for a day when a racial hierarchy no longer exists.

I look for a day when Black people are no longer stereotyped as being unintelligent – so much until some of the impoverished groups of Black children I encounter begin to believe that this is a fact about themselves.

I look for a day when people all around the world won’t fight to remove themselves from Blackness – as a result of maladaptive societal norms being established.

I pray for a day when people won’t have to reach hell or heaven before realizing that we are all souls just occupying a decorated vessel so that God might use us to accomplish His perfect will. If I have stepped on your toes, I encourage you to pray.

For this is just the beginning of a conversation that has endured since we realized skin color.

But why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord’ and not do the things which I say?” Whoever comes to me and hears my sayings and does them, I will show you what he is like: He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on a rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.”
~ Luke 6:46-49 NKJV

Thank you for lending me your “ear”.

God Bless.

Remember When

“For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by The Lord, that we not be condemned with the world.” ~1 Corinthians 11:31-32

As a school psychologist intern, I get the privilege of walking the halls of several schools, grades K-12. Rapidly approaching the end of the school year, the yelp of kids in the hall appears to get a little bit louder, and the gripe of the frustrated teacher is seemingly stronger and more frequent.

Said differently, everyone is pretty much tired.

Tired of each other and tired of meeting demands.

Recently I have become like adults a few generations my senior, who have taken on the, “I just don’t know about these kids today.” -SMH hangup. And I am concerned, because it is far to early in my budding career for me to feel this way.

Thank God He has blessed me with this self-awareness, so that I may kill this problem at the root of the issue.

What am i talking about really?

Well I am addressing that self-righteousness that sneaks up on you in adulthood – if you’re not careful.

Oh how quick we are to judge today’s youth without acknowledging the hand that the world has dealt them: pre-exposure to adult concepts via television and internet, such as, early sexualization like what my CSEC team and I research. And let’s not forget those who experience neglect and abuse in the home.

A separate issue with adulthood is how hypercritical we can become of today’s youth and regard their immaturity with disdain – when ironically, that is the behavior of the ideal child. To undergo childhood is a rapid developmental process, in which rapid change occurs daily.

From a Christian perspective, how dare I look at this child in judgement? When it was God’s grace alone that brought me from the shadows of darkness from whence I came. Dubbed the “good child”, even I have a past.

“Just as The Lord sent someone for me, He’s sending me for them.” ~ Powerful words from an instrumental teacher of Self-contained emotionally disturbed students, Sister Lois Murphy

For as I have said it before, it is important to think on the following:

Don’t grow weary in well-doing, for in due season you shall reap, if you faint not. ~Galatians 6:9

God Bless! Let’s keep praying for each other.

I can’t take yours and you can’t take mine

“What God has for me, it is for me.”

This is a gospel song that was popular in the 90’s, and I’m finding that many of us need to be reminded that this notion is, still and will always be, relevant.

Let’s put this into context, being a young go-getter, I love seeking information and knowledge. I love sharing it just the same.

I believe that the impartation and receipt of knowledge from multiple sources is where we find our strength, but i have discovered that far too many people in this world do not feel the same way. My Bestie, Kendra and I often discuss our frustrations with people who hoard information; as though God doesn’t own the entire heavens and earth. In case you’re confused, allow me to explain further.

Like it or not, there is no such thing as a “self-made” individual. Yes, I am familiar with the impeccable stories of the orphan who was left to die of starvation who grew up “without any handouts” and climbed the ladder to entrepreneurial success. Yet, I assure you that even he and she ; ) did not make it this far alone, someone has extended them an opportunity. Even if we reflect on the first person that purchased a product from them – that still counts as an opportunity. For the old adage that says, “No man is an island, entire of itself,” is ever so true yesterday, today, and forever. So, please do not take this for granted. And while we all need each other, it is important to realize that in our sharing, I can never take what God has for you, just like you could never take what God has for me. He has more than enough for all of us.

So impart and seek some knowledge today.

“The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.” ~Proverbs 18:15 NKJV

Which is why I am in love with E.Harper (allerinharper.com), H. Lindsey(www.heatherllindsey.blogspot.com), and K. Chavis(goodgirlfun.com) Check out their blogs ; )

God Bless You!

Jump out the Box!

It’s been a long time since I have blogged (probably 2 weeks…I don’t know I’ve lost track.)  I have been seemingly busy with preparing for my May 6th graduation, which means trying to stay on top of my portfolio, complete my internship responsibilities, be a good research team member, etc.  Outside of grad-school, I have been preparing for an upcoming event, trying to be a good wife, trying to launch and manage a mentoring organization, pondering my future (where will I be working next year, looks like I won’t be starting a Ph.D. just yet, will I have a baby, what else can I do for my business and for Jerrell’s business?)

I promise this list could go on for days.  Be glad that I stopped when I did ; )

I am what the world would probably refer to as a jack-of-all trades, a term that I absolutely loathe. 

I prefer to think of myself as something like a …

Creative Specialist

(shying away from the term Master

Creator – I believe that’s

reserved by Almighty God…

just love Him BTW). 

Anyway, I hate boxes. You know those big boxes that people like to categorize people in.  I hate them for the mere fact that I simply just won’t fit.  Yeah that’s right.  Please don’t mistake my confidence for concete (see I can’t even spell it…conceit j/k ; ) or narcissism, I promise it’s simply self-love + faith in God that constantly reminds me, I can, in-fact, do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13), and guess what….

SO CAN YOU!

Yes you can!  God believes in you.  And I have a whole team that believes in you too!  And so does your inner circle.  So what are you waiting on?  Kick the lid off of that box and just do it already!  Whatever “it” is.

 

I love you much!  And would love to talk to you, and even pray for you with my team, but we can only know what you need if you submit your prayer requests.  Hit me up.  God Bless!