Today’s topic of discussion will directly address a subject that we, women, don’t talk about (like so many things that women experience) until we realize that someone else has shared in the experience as well. The ultimate goal of this piece is for both men and women to find peace in their long-suffering and to speak to that woman who may feel alone because she hasn’t come across another who was willing to share their experience with her. The burden to unleash the veil covering the truth yet again falls on the author.
So here goes nothing…
According to medical experts approximately 1 in 4 women and some suggest 1 in 3 for very early pregnancies undergo miscarriages…During a time when some women may not even be aware of their pregnancy (lucky them). When it occurs within the first trimester (the first 6-7 weeks for me), it is usually attributed to a chromosomal issue that has nothing to do with anything a mommy-to-be “could have done wrong”, but instead it is just “nature’s way of taking care of itself.”
Well for a woman, no matter how valid the aforementioned facts may be, they provide no solace for losing yet another child. As a believer, it puts you in that uncomfortable, forbidden place of QUESTIONING GOD.
Perhaps even asking, “why me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Don’t I work hard to serve you?”
“Why can’t I have the desires of my heart like you promised in your WORD?”
While it is only human to feel these things and ask these questions, it is important to keep these things all in perspective as a believer.
After crying, kicking, screaming, and asking those other questions in suffering. One who is familiar with God’s Word, should turn around and ask these questions and have these thoughts as well.
1) Why not me?
2) Who am I not to suffer?
3) For Christ, our Savior was mocked, beaten, betrayed, and crucified; yet He arose again with all power in His hands and is seated at the right hand of The Father.
4) If He bled, so can I.
5) One of my mother’s favorites: “If they did it to Jesus, what do you think they will do to you?”
6) In life we take the good and the bad.
7) And as the kind midwife who met me at the hospital yesterday said (her name is Yvette, like my aunt…how sweet ; ), “You take it in, and then let it go.”
*And to that I say, “Amen, to God be the Glory.” For my number 2 has returned to the bosom of Jesus.
For clarification that I am not out of touch and am living my life just like you (which can sometimes feel like a twilight zone during trials), here are some of the circumstances around my suffering miscarriages:
During the time of my first miscarriage, I had so many baby-shower invitations that I was starting to lose track, my new pregnant neighbor moved in and a few days later had a banner hanging, saying “Welcome Home ______” in blue with cute pictures of baseballs, bats, gloves…you get the drift.” I was also being invited to meet several new babies. And a couple of my and my husband’s close friends and family were pregnant. Shoot it was even all around on social media…instagram, twitter, facebook…if I had to see one more bump picture I was going to ScReAm!!!
During the time of my current miscarriage, I traveled out of town to do a reading and workshop (which will be tonight), had the privilege of sitting in an OB/GYN’s office ALL DAY LONG yesterday surrounded by more baby bumps and cute little children. I was also able to see what felt like all of the pregnant women in Brooklyn, and their friends carrying their new bundles of joy around. Oh yeah, I failed to mention all of the people who constantly ask if we want children, and when I recently gave my nice reply of, “when the Lord is willing” someone responded…”yeah Lord willing alright…but we women gotta make sure we allow the Lord to be willing”. I’m assuming this was some type of sideways stab to indicate that my husband and I were taking birth control, or perhaps have our tubes tied to prevent pregnancy.
YES….did I say twilight zone?
Whereas; the enemy wants me to take notice of my surroundings and feel sorry for myself, instead I am taking things slowly, thanking God for life no matter how short-lived. Thanking God that I have not been one of those STRONG WOMEN who delivered a still-born baby. Thanking God that I have a wonderful, awesome, supportive, strong, and loving husband by my side to endure these trials with me because I most certainly realize there are many unfortunate women who have to endure such trials alone.
I praise Jesus, I give glory to God the MOST HIGH, and I will go on to live another day. Please pray with me, as I deliver God’s Word to His people this evening…He most certainly has something mighty in the works.
Now I will leave you (us ; ) with some relevant scripture:
James 1:2-6 (NKJV)
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
James 1:12 (NKJV)
12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
For they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
For they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
For they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Amen & God bless you ’till next time friends ; )
BTW if not for these trials, I never would have realized how STRONG I really am (in Christ)…I hope you can find a way to realize the same my Love.