I walked out of my final OB appointment today. Yes, this is it! The next time I will see my doctor will be next Thursday at my pre-op. The feeling I had as I sat up on the examination table was surreal! I was elated. I thought about the long journey behind me and how we were finally about to meet the gift that God promised to us a few years ago.
I have experienced a wealth of varied emotions, as one may imagine, and I don’t know how to quite place them all. One series of thoughts have been around my acceptance that many family members and friends want to come join us at the hospital at the arrival of Baby J and at first I didn’t know if I wanted that. Not that I wanted to be particularly selfish, but as a Mom who intends to breastfeed, I know the importance of bonding with my baby early on. Secondly, my family loves so hard ; ) and I was nervous that my baby would be snatched from my hands prior to him getting to know me as Mom and Jerrell as Dad first.
Well the strangest thing happened to me today, as I was resting on the couch and watching the final few moments of “The Little House on the Prairie” (yeah this like never happens ; ). Charles and Caroline were returning home to their five children after spending some time away in the company of very wealthy people, who they viewed as successful, yet they were unfortunately very unhappy. Being in the presence of these people, who appeared to be former classmates, caused Charles and Caroline to question their own humble economic situation and lifestyle. Well wouldn’t you know that as they hopped out of their carriage, their children came to greet them with excitement! As their children ran out of the door, Charles stated something like, “Now if that’s not success then I don’t know what is!” As I watched this I soon became overwhelmed by a flood of joyful tears.
Why yes, we know about pregnancy and emotions, but in that moment I thought about the love that family provides and I thought about the legacy that my husband and I are creating, and at the same time are extending on behalf of the previous generations from our birth families. And it dawned on me as my friend Kendra and others have suggested, our baby is loved by so many already. To this point, I need not worry or fret, but I just accept that I am birthing “everybody’s baby” and he will grow up and be developed in a very loving and nurturing environment. To bring this home to you, in my immediate family, our last baby is in his 20s and on my husband’s side the last baby is 12, so as you can imagine our families are ecstatic about the arrival of our son, their grandson, their nephew, their great nephew, their cousin, their great grandson, their godson, their best friend’s son, their friend’s son…………
So to that point, I am now embracing the idea of sharing my son’s love and his ability to be loved by an entire village and I know that it will all be okay.
As I know there are many families going through many obstacles as we did to realize the dream of welcoming a child into their home, I want to encourage those friends and tell them to Keep the Faith! God Bless You, Embody God’s comfort during those difficult seasons, knowing that great rewards are just around the corner. Hold On!