The following narrative was shared by an anonymous interviewee. It is our prayer that her honesty might provide hope and help to those of us who may need it. This is her story.
I was dating a terrible guy while in college. Well one day, I chose to walk him to his room, expecting to just hang out again.
I felt God speaking to me, “Do not go.”
And I said, well why not?
God repeated, “Do not go.”
I mean this is a nice guy, he’s involved in the church.
It was in this moment that I made a conscious decision that I was going.
God was just like, I forgot the words exactly, but it was basically like “If you go then you’re gonna lose something.”
I was just like, “oh well” and I just kept going.
It was during this visit that I was sexually assaulted. Afterwards I found myself going into a downward spiral similar to what I experienced post another prior traumatic incident in my life. I felt like at that point, I lost a part of myself. It was like a part of me died. I was grieving in a weird way. I didn’t go to class. I just stayed in my room and cried. I didn’t eat or anything like that. A lot of my friends didn’t know what was wrong with me.
Then one day I remembered being sick of being at that point. I was like, “God I need something to change!”
At that time it robbed me of my self-esteem, my purpose. I felt dirty, I felt low, – just all around wrong. I went on a fast and I was like Lord, I need you to eliminate any soul-ties, take away this brokenness. I think at this point I was contemplating suicide – it was just really a low, low, time in my life.
It was on a New Year’s Day that I spent the night at a friend’s house and generated a list of all the things I would like in a man. I wrote it down, I prayed over it, and then I just left it alone. My friend was the only one who knew about it and she helped me through it.
Thank you for taking the time to read this woman’s story. It is our prayer that if you are able to relate you might find your own ways to cope, heal, and seek the help that you need.
Oh yeah, she is now with the man that loves her dearly and there is no doubt that God designed him just for her!
Be Healed & Blessed!