Our Little M&M: The Story Behind Baby JET’S Red Onesie & Hope for Couples who Desire Children

image

  I posted a photo last week of our miracle, Baby JET. In this image JET was featured wearing a red M&M onesie. Like many things surrounding Baby JET, this onesie  has a story behind it, and I’m not talking about a “melt in your mouth, not in your hand” kind of story either ; ).

Some know that my husband Jerrell and I have desired to bring home a baby for a few years now; yet instead we have brought home many tears and heartache due to a series of miscarriages.

The interesting part is that even on our doubtful (human) days our faith reassured us that we would have children.

As a matter of fact, I recall a recent conversation with my cousin Nikki (who always believed we would have children) that was very powerful.
Nikki knows, because we have shared, that even some of the most seemingly faithful to God people wavered in their ability to encourage us at times; I guess in fear of not wanting to “get our hopes up”.

Either way, during this conversation, Nikki shared the reason she continued to believe that we would have children. Nikki revealed that shortly after our first miscarriage, she asked if we would try to have children again and my response that we would try again as soon as the doctor provided us clearance confirmed it for Nikki. In other words, Nikki believed for us because of our faith!

Now back to the story behind Baby JET’s red onesie. You see I have owned this onesie for around two years now. It has been tacked onto vision boards and even hung on the arm of my chair in my prayer room. As a matter of fact, this onesie is sized for a 12 month old.

Why did I feature a photo of Baby JET in an oversized onesie? You may ask. Well, as some may recall, I was invited to perform a book reading and discussion of “God Please Clean My Room” in New York two years back. 

The day prior I was walking with my friend Kim, as we both were pregnant and wanted to maintain our health. Kim’s motivation was prompted by her doctor, while my motivation was to overcome my fear.

Though doctor’s reassured me  that my miscarriages had nothing to do with my engaging in any physical activity, somewhere in the back of my mind I blamed myself and avoided working out during pregnancy.

This time was going to be different! I was trusting in God to believe that this pregnancy would be successful & Kim, like many others who love Jerrell and I were believing too! So with my faith, I was leading Kim up the trail and striving to push her to match my pace as I was gaining my confidence.  Kim and I returned to our cars and agreed to meet up regularly to maintain healthy weights during our pregnancies.  So you can imagine my dismay when I began spotting once I returned home that evening.

I contacted my prayer partners, laid down for the remainder of the evening, and even had Jerrell pack our bags while I saved my energy for our flight the next morning.

I was terrified, but hopeful as I spotted off and on the morning of our flight. I even fought to hold on to my faith as my stomach cramps intensified during the flight, but once we landed and I was “in the clear” I believed my baby was safe in my womb.

I became so confident that when our friend Anthony greeted us upon arrival at Felicia’s apartment, we shared the good news that we were expecting! The joy we felt was short-lived as my first visit to the restroom resulted into an all too familiar bloody stool.

I then, asked for Jerrell to travel to the nearest store to pick up some pads (AKA sanitary napkins).  Anthony accompanied Jerrell for support; meanwhile I remained in the restroom crying & praying.

As God would have it, Felicia’s apartment was walking distance from the hospital. Anthony was kind enough to leave us with his iPad for assistance, as he had to report to work.  Jerrell and I having done this before decided to skip the ER and asked if an OB/GYN would squeeze us in instead; while they accepted us, we still remained at the hospital our entire first day in NY.

The ultrasound tech, insulted us with the “are you sure you are/were pregnant” question prior to the doctor’s ordering a blood test to confirm our pregnancy.  This was followed by an apology as the doctor confirmed our miscarriage.

It was absolutely terrible sitting in a waiting room full of pregnant bellies, as I knew I was losing yet another child. It was also painful walking by baby bumps on the street once we left the hospital.  It felt downright cruel to contact my home OB/GYN to cancel my upcoming ultrasound and checkup. At times, it felt like more than we could bear, and we did not feel equipped to engage in the spiritual warfare that was surrounding us, but it was clear that God was there.

Where? You may ask. God was present in our decision to acknowledge our pain, yet rest in the support of loving friends such as Felicia and Anthony, as well as, Kendra who purchased a bus ticket from NJ the day of because she knew we were hurting.

God was there in our decision to press through and perform one of the best “God Please Clean My Room” reading & discussion sessions I’ve ever done! For it was following this session that my dear friend Felicia looked into my eyes & said, “you were born to do this and you are definitely in your element”. Anthony reiterated this as well in that moment.

God was in our decision to sight-see, try to make the best of our trip, & tour M&M World.  For while in M&M world we took pictures in a photobooth and purchased a few items. One of which was the red M&M onesie that Baby JET was featured wearing above.  We purposely purchased the 12 month size, as a declaration of our faith that God would eventually bless us with a child that would not only be born, but one that would grow and develop heathily!

Thank you for reading our story. It is our prayer that it will be of encouragement to those who have endured similar trials.

Hang in there. Don’t give up.
Don’t give in & know that God has not forgot!

Below I have featured images from that NY trip. May they remind us all to never judge a book by its cover.

God Bless You!

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

 

Keeping up with VALENCYA updates ; ) 

1) Purchase my Children’s Book via link below image:

Book Cover

http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-0105968017/God-Please-Clean-My-Room.aspx

2) Download my song, God Please Clean My Room (from your favorite player, but itunes link is below):

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/god-please-clean-my-room-feat./id591875935

 

3) Book Me for Preaching, Speaking, & Workshops to all ages and populations via info@ValencyaThompson.com  – I cover an array of topics, some of my most frequent include:

Preaching Gospel icon

 

Girls and Women Empowerment Icon

1409588440271

Fertility Hope Icon

 

Girls GT Sex Logo

 

 

 

Everybody’s Baby!

image

I walked out of my final OB appointment today.  Yes, this is it!  The next time I will see my doctor will be next Thursday at my pre-op.  The feeling I had as I sat up on the examination table was surreal!  I was elated.  I thought about the long journey behind me and how we were finally about to meet the gift that God promised to us a few years ago.

I have experienced a wealth of varied emotions, as one may imagine, and I don’t know how to quite place them all.  One series of thoughts have been around my acceptance that many family members and friends want to come join us at the hospital at the arrival of Baby J and at first I didn’t know if I wanted that.  Not that I wanted to be particularly selfish, but as a Mom who intends to breastfeed, I know the importance of bonding with my baby early on.  Secondly, my family loves so hard ; ) and I was nervous that my baby would be snatched from my hands prior to him getting to know me as Mom and Jerrell as Dad first.

Well the strangest thing happened to me today, as I was resting on the couch and watching the final few moments of “The Little House on the Prairie” (yeah this like never happens ; ).  Charles and Caroline were returning home to their five children after spending some time away in the company of very wealthy people, who they viewed as successful, yet they were unfortunately very unhappy.  Being in the presence of these people, who appeared to be former classmates, caused Charles and Caroline to question their own humble economic situation and lifestyle.  Well wouldn’t you know that as they hopped out of their carriage, their children came to greet them with excitement!  As their children ran out of the door, Charles stated something like, “Now if that’s not success then I don’t know what is!”  As I watched this I soon became overwhelmed by a flood of joyful tears. 

Why yes, we know about pregnancy and emotions, but in that moment I thought about the love that family provides and I thought about the legacy that my husband and I are creating, and at the same time are extending on behalf of the previous generations from our birth families.  And it dawned on me as my friend Kendra and others have suggested, our baby is loved by so many already.   To this point, I need not worry or fret, but I just accept that I am birthing “everybody’s baby” and he will grow up and be developed in a very loving and nurturing environment.  To bring this home to you, in my immediate family, our last baby is in his 20s and on my husband’s side the last baby is 12, so as you can imagine our families are ecstatic about the arrival of our son, their grandson, their nephew, their great nephew, their cousin, their great grandson, their godson, their best friend’s son, their friend’s son…………

So to that point, I am now embracing the idea of sharing my son’s love and his ability to be loved by an entire village and I know that it will all be okay.

Amen!

As I know there are many families going through many obstacles as we did to realize the dream of welcoming a child into their home, I want to encourage those friends and tell them to Keep the Faith!  God Bless You, Embody God’s comfort during those difficult seasons, knowing that great rewards are just around the corner.  Hold On!

Love,

The Thompsons

Girls > Sex Entry #7: Words from an Overcomer of Sex Addiction Part 3

Girls GT Sex Logo

In the most unlikely circumstance, I have been privileged to cross paths with an 86 year old man who feels a calling to share his story with overcoming what he attributes to be a spiritual battle with sex. He has requested to remain anonymous, but feels so strongly about this calling that if any man desired to converse with him due to an experience with this same struggle, he is willing to make himself available. If this is you, please feel free to submit a message to the following email address, GIRLSGTSEX@GMAIL.COM. Your email questions/concerns will be provided to him and replied to accordingly. Below is his story in his own words. ~V. Thompson

Be sure to go back through the blog history to search for our previous posts related to the  Girls > Sex (TM) Ministry.

 A Letter to Mom

Dear Mom:

I am 86 now and you died many years ago, but I write this for several reasons: to honor what you did right, to forgive you for the wrong, to walk in your shoes, and to pass on our story to others so it will live on and maybe bring them the same healing that it will bring to us.

Grandma and Grandpa teamed up with you to work in restaurants and that’s where you met Dad.  Grandma didn’t want you to get married at all.  Grandma’s mother made her quit school at 6th grade to work in their general store.  She wouldn’t let Grandma get married so Grandma pretended to be pregnant and shortly after, so you were born.

It would seem stronger to do to someone else what hurt us so much.  Perhaps once we get free, the only way we see to never be controlled again is to control everybody else around us.

When I was 4 you went to a movie with a man and Dad found out.  Due to the poor economy and what you did, he overreacted and shot you, then killed himself.  You remarried and had my half sister, and I hated all of you.  I now understand that you couldn’t raise us 3 alone, but we felt so abandoned.

Grandma abused me and I had no where to run to.  I did recently find some old papers and saw you and Dad were married in June 1926 and I was born in December 1927.  This meant that you waited 9 months before you got pregnant and that I was planned for and wanted.

I can’t remember back beyond age 4, but I can picture in my heart how you loved me, had me, the joy and pleasure of teaching me to walk and talk.  I did remember you called me ____ (original first name). You went to Grandma’s house to have my siblings and I went with you.  We had such fun!

The economy went bad in 1929 (Great Depression), and with no family support it had to be terrible on you and Dad.  I’m sure you had no money to go out or even for a babysitter.  You must have gotten worn out with us 3 kids 24/7 and so you were tempted to go out.  I forgive you and I love you.  I have prayed to God that you and Dad forgive each other and that we can all be together in heaven for eternity.

Love,

________ (original first name)

 

Keeping up with VALENCYA updates ; ) 

1) Purchase my Children’s Book via link below image:

Book Cover

http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-0105968017/God-Please-Clean-My-Room.aspx

2) Download my song, God Please Clean My Room (from your favorite player, but itunes link is below):

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/god-please-clean-my-room-feat./id591875935

 

3) Book Me for Preaching, Speaking, & Workshops to all ages and populations via Valencya.Thompson@gmail.com  – I cover an array of topics, some of my most frequent include:

Preaching Gospel icon

 

Girls and Women Empowerment Icon

1409588440271

Fertility Hope Icon

 

Girls GT Sex Logo

 

 

 

Let’s Make A Deal!

image

Today when I came home, I followed my normal afternoon regimen which involves attempting to bring Max , my dog, from one designated area into another section of our home with me.

Well, Max has a big red, dirty, stuffed teddy bear that at one point held a heart in its hands (oh the irony).  Max is only allowed to play with his bear in a restricted area because it is absolutely filthy and Max is aware of this boundary.  Despite this awareness, Max tries to resist letting this stuffed animal go when transitioning away from the designated area at times.

To trigger Max’s obedience I will state specific commands and even close the door to indicate that in order for him to cross the threshold, he must release the bear, which is tightly clenched in his mouth and gripped by his paws.

Usually after one or two of these indicators, Max will surrender the bear and walk across the threshold.

Well today Max was relentless after several commands, door closures, and my even walking away and returning after several minutes. It was clear to me that Max had made his decision and I had no choice other than to leave him behind gripping onto what he deemed important.

After what seemed like a dreadful laborious experience for this tired pregnant lady, God revealed a Word and this was the metaphor.

How often do we humans miss out on what God has for us simply because we do not want to let go of what we have held onto in our past…. and somehow snuck into our present?

The interesting thing about this in most instances is, that which we are holding onto may be stinky and filthy just like Max’s teddy bear in God’s eyes, but we are in too much of a fog to realize it.  

This fog maybe due to some form of fear, possibly fear of the unknown or fear of future rejection, and sometimes fear that we are not deemed as valuable enough by others, and on some sad occasions, even not deemed worthy to ourselves.

Even moreso, though it is not a very popular word these days, this thing we are clinging to is sinful. This can be sinful in essence or action and simply because of the direct or seemingly indirect disobedience to God. 

It is important that we understand first and foremost that God loves us! Allow me to make this personal, God loves you!

Everything that God has designed in God’s perfect will is so that we might prosper.  Not because God is some game show host who is trying to make you choose one crappy prize from behind a choice of three doors just for kicks! Do you really believe that our God is that cruel?

I assure God loves you more than anyone else and much more than you could ever imagine.  If you choose God today, God only has the greatest intentions for your optimal development. This is true, no matter if you are experiencing a season of prosperity or a season of test and trials.

God is not the boogie man and just like I knew there was much more for my dog Max on the otherside of the door, though his limited intelligence did not tell him so; God has much more in store for you!

So Let’s Make A Deal! Only you know this time that the host does not have any gimmicks up his or her sleeve. Why don’t you release that teddy bear from your mouth today.  I promise…it’s filthy.

See these scriptute references for your personal study:

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:11-12 NKJV

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

God Bless you & go in Peace!

About Last Night: A Revelatory Dream

020a

More frequently, God has been speaking to me in the format of dreams.
About Last Night…

I dreamed that there was a rowdy crowd of unfamiliar people in my home. This group was comprised of mostly men. What was even more troublesome, these people were crowded in my bedroom misusing my belongings with much disrespect. To make matters worst, my husband was home and did not appear to have a problem with these individuals invading our space.

God revealed that this dream had a message, but it wasn’t until later today that God provided the interpretation.

Many of us human beings are particular about protecting our belongings. Oh you know, we are mindful of our cell phones and our purses. We alarm our cars and even our homes. We are very careful to not leave our belongings around people we deem untrustworthy for one reason or another. Most certainly we are sure to not invite untrustworthy individuals into our physical homes.

But you know what’s funny? God allowed me to realize that while we are careful to do the above, we rarely guard our hearts and minds in these same ways.

Let’s discuss this in a way that resonates. How many of us have been having a “good day” where we have been in a great mood and it felt like the sun was shining all over the place? Then you walk into someone who says something to you that is interpreted as rude, they tell you “no”, or they criticize you about something that brings or reminds you of some sort of pain?

Well God is urging us to think in the same way about mental intrusion as we do about the intrusion upon our physical property. While we so readily guard material possessions that are physically replaceable, we should secure our beautiful minds even moreso, especially since we will only be granted ONE for the rest of our lives. Furthermore, this “one” mind that we have operates in a fashion where memories are stored and built on top of previous ones that are then reconstructed and in-turn shape our behaviors. These memories also shape the way we perceive things, how we interact and engage (or not engage) others, and so on for the rest of our lives.

In my dream the intrusive people can reflect mind intrusions (negative words, curses, or other disrespectful occurrences projected on us by other people & even what we choose to expose ourselves to experiencing on a day-to-day basis). Also in this dream, my husband (who protects me in my real life) represents security that was off duty for some reason or another.

In response to a recent Facebook post I made regarding comments received from others, my husband stated the following: “Looking good babe. Everyone has an opinion. CHOOSE who you listen to.” His word choice in this instance truly resonated with me. In most situations similar to this one people will repeat the all too familiar phrase, “be careful who you listen to”. But there was something about Jerrell’s decision to say “choose”. Knowing, loving, and breathing the same air as this man on a daily basis, I know that he is one who always stays true to self. This is a quality of his that I strongly admire and strive to emulate; yet I have historically struggled in this area. This “ole” open and fun-loving soul of mine has been misjudged and even abused in some instances, and I have unfortunately allowed some things to linger for too long.

Don’t get me wrong, God has been working on me with this, but I still have more ground to cover in this process. Today I say, “No More,” and I encourage you to join me on this journey.

Heard a negative word? Dismiss it.

Someone tries to curse you (knowingly or unknowingly)? Rebuke it.

Someone’s behaviors suggests that he or she dislikes or is jealous of you (at no fault of your own)? Ignore it.

Through all these things maintain your integrity and press on to accomplish the will of God in your life.

Please do not misinterpret what I am saying, there of course will be times when you are called to speak directly to an individual’s words against your life. During these times it is necessary that you pray (yes you have time to say a quick prayer in the spirit (to yourself), or you can pray for discernment about when and how to revisit something later) and ask the Holy Spirit to provide the words that are necessary so that God’s work might be done through you and for you.

Let us join in together to make a pledge to liberate ourselves from yet another form of spiritual bondage today! This is necessary so that we might be free to do the work that our Lord has called us to complete.

God Bless You!

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”.

Real Love

image

I am so in love right now!

I cannot tell you by simply using words how many different thoughts about parenthood, childhood, and the great expectations I have about my son’s arrival.

I am currently 31 weeks 1 day (approaching 2 days) pregnant & I am absolutely ecstatic. Some of you know my story and others may be new to my writings. Either way, I am 4 years, 3 months married and my spouse and I have been a couple for 8 years. Geesh that sounds like a lot of time to me being in my early 30s. My spouse and I have experienced 3 confirmed miscarriages, though I believe there were more, and needless to say, the road to parenthood  has been difficult and sad for us.

Well in the midst of all of the love  I have been feeling, I have been doing a lot of reflection, and I have come to the realization that the painful parts of my journey have caused me to receive God’s love and appreciate God’s blessings even more!

I now realize with the life that I feel growing and moving inside of me that my priorities have completely shifted, it’s like nothing else even matters at all.  Allow me to be clear, individuals who know me understand that historically I am a very ambitious woman with many goals, and I typically have no problem with pursuing more than one project at once.

Yet something is quite different this time. It is as though I have tunnel vision and laser focus about the life of this child God has blessed me with and all other former priorities will have to “get in where they fit in”.

I remember my younger years and the plans that I had for myself, even back in high school. My plan was to attend a four year university, be married by 22 upon graduation, have my first child by 25, and you get the picture.

I don’t even know where those arbitrary timelines came from, I guess somewhere in my young teenage mind they sounded nice.

I didn’t stop there with the goals though, once I was actually married at 27 years old, my husband and I set a goal to have children by 3 years in.  This meant somewhere around year 2 we would begin trying. Because we were on birth control, I heard somewhere that it may take a while before we would find success once we came off it. You can only imagine the shock I felt when I experienced my first pregnancy shortly after! Truth be told, I can recall sitting on my living room couch in utter terror thinking something like, “we’re pregnant…what now?”

In other words, somewhere in my gut I felt we weren’t ready & I know as embarrassing as it is to say, I wasn’t ready to love as hard as I am now. I just desired to have a baby because it sounded like something married people were “supposed” to get started on by that point in marriage & besides “I wasn’t getting any younger.”

I mean who makes this stuff up anyways? We humans can truly be a piece of work on ourselves at times. Thank God for mercy and grace.

Would you know me, formerly “Ms. Socialite” & “be all to any and everybody” now finds her greatest joy being at home with her husband and dog, all while holding onto her belly with visions of her baby?

God is completely awesome! What is my point? Even this blessed pregnancy that shall result in victory has contained trials of its own, yet I am able to count it all joy simply because of God’s majestic design.

There is really much truth in the saying that “rainy days allow us to appreciate God’s sunshine”. Lord knows I am a “living testimony”.  Furthermore, things that I thought were simplistic in nature before have now become the things I value most in life.

And that my friends is my definition of REAL love.

Your take away: before you run off to pursue your laundry list of plans, ask yourself, “why is this important by this time?” “did I check with God?” “what will I gain or lose?” “Can this wait?”

God Bless.

Girls > Sex Entry #6: Hollywood & your Glamorous First Time

image

I watched an old movie today (the name is unimportant) and I was reminded of a conversation I had a few days ago with a friend. It is amazing how Hollywood & the entertainment industry at large glorifies sex as something as casual as sipping iced tea. Furthermore, how some tween & teen movies, along with those geared towards adult audiences glamorize this false idea that as long as you feel something magical (i.e., lust, a natural biological stimulation towards another person) then sex in its raw form, outside of a marriage covenant is special.

To this notion, I toss up my hands and say, “Chile Puleeassee!” As I vividly recalled my own first time with this friend as she shared her own story, I said something along the lines of “Ooh that story isn’t too great huh?” She replied, “And who does have a great story about losing their virginity (as in what woman outside of a valued marriage covenant with a husband who mutually loves and respects her enough to commit to her before God and man has a story that she is fully proud of)?”

Now maybe she exists somewhere, but in the Kingdom of God this has not been our experience. It is time for some one to tell young ladies out here the truth.

In some instances, peer pressure has been the culprit, some rites of passage to prove that one is big and bad or woman enough to do the deed. In other situations, women have allowed themselves to be set up in romantic environments (i.e. why is this man in your bedroom in the first place? why are you in the den at night playing slow love songs?) You get the picture.

In other tragic moments some women have been forced against their will. God Bless you my sisters.

Whatever your circumstance, no matter your age, no matter how many times you have participated in the act, God has eqipped you with the tools you need to stop TODAY!

Don’t allow the enemy to whisper his lies to you any longer! “Oh you’ve already lost your virginity, so you may as well keep doing it.”  “Oh your first time was crappy, so you have to do it again to redeem that experience.” “Oh, you’re a grown woman, it’s 2014 & how else do you expect to keep/catch a man?”

I could think of Satan’s lies and excuses for you to take less than God’s best for you all day long, but I know you, my smart cookies, already get the picture.
; )

The Bible tells us that “for every temptation there is a way of escape” (Google it for yourself).

Don’t believe this is actually true? Take a moment right now to pause and think back on the last time you did something you weren’t comfortable with……Now remember the moment prior to taking that action when you decided you were going to do it. You get my gist?

Come on Sis! Walk out of this bondage today! You can completely do it! God has God’s loving arms fully extended out to you! Go ahead and allow yourself to be embraced by God’s healing touch today! God is all powerful!

Be Blessed & Love Yourself Right Now!