Panty Raid

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“Panty Raid”

In popculture there are many movies where guys are shown trying to invade the private bedrooms of girls to “steal their panties” from their underwear drawers.  To be perfectly honest,  I have even heard my husband and his college buddies discuss such festivities actually going on while they were freshmen in school. Don’t be deceived this has been going on as far back as the 50’s and perhaps even earlier on American campuses at least.

Back to the movies, many of the genre that I am referring to target teen audiences and it is despicable.

Well they are just trying to make money and I totally get it because apparently we are watching.

So where do we fit in and what does this mean for us Believers? Well, I thought you’d never ask.

Before I answer that question,  there are even movies across time that show “nerd” populations – you know the corny guy – smart, virgin,  and projected as a loser out of touch with mainstream society (which is simply not so) participating in said “raids”. I mean you don’t have to be lame or “uncool” because you value your body as a temple or you know your worth, but someone in Hollywood is paying top dollar to make you ingest this lie.

Parents be sure to educate your youth, as a matter of fact do a child you love a favor and share this blog post with them.

Oh and if you are praying that your baby hasn’t been exposed to sex, think again because they were dry humping in elementary school when I was there – so you should be able to imagine what happens now.

Don’t misunderstand my message,  no all kids aren’t physically sexualized at young ages, but you better believe that most have been exposed to it. If not directly by you, then indirectly by you through movies, tv, & social media they are allowed to experience or by friends or other peers at school!

So I have a question for girls young and old out there: if your actual life was depicted on the movie screen would you have the panties that “the nerds” would even attempt to steal or would they already be circulating the campus in vast quantities?

Yeah this post is a tough cookie,  but I promise God loves you so much that he woke me smack out of bed to get this message to you!

Well I pray that you have the kind of panties that the boys will go to great lengths to capture – I mean jump behind the security desk of an all – female dorm with security chasing after them and once captured they are quickly zip locked and sold on ebay to the highest bidder!

Why go through such lengths for you or your clothing, you may ask? Because no man or woman has ever known your essence so to even be near your unmentionables should be remarkable in our pop culture world!

For what you have, My Dear is valued to be more precious than rubies or pearls which are something even modern girls can relate to!

See Proverbs 31:10 AMP
“10 A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman—who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.”

Still don’t know?

Read Proverbs 3:15 AMP

“15 Skillful and godly [a]Wisdom is more precious than rubies; and nothing you can wish for is to be compared to her.”

Yes Sister,  Daughter, Mother, Friend what you have in between those ears will take you far more places than what you have in between those legs.

Because both mind and body are a part of the essence which make you a woman, all parts of you are valuable and is confirmed in the scripture references featured above.

Now about that spirit…take some time to know God and allow the Holy Spirit’s presence to connect with yours. It is never too late, no matter what you have done in your past,  God is always there and is simply waiting with outstretched hands.

Reach out and grab them already!

God’s Blessings and Peace to You My Friends!

Keeping up with VALENCYA updates ; )

1) Purchase my Children’s Book via link below image:

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http://www.valencyathompson.bigcartel.com

2) Download my song, God Please Clean My Room (from your favorite player, but itunes link is below):

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/god-please-clean-my-room-feat./id591875935

3) Book Me for Preaching, Speaking, Readings, & Workshops to all ages and populations via info@ValencyaThompson.com – I cover an array of topics, some of my most frequent include:

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Girls > Sex Entry #6: Hollywood & your Glamorous First Time

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I watched an old movie today (the name is unimportant) and I was reminded of a conversation I had a few days ago with a friend. It is amazing how Hollywood & the entertainment industry at large glorifies sex as something as casual as sipping iced tea. Furthermore, how some tween & teen movies, along with those geared towards adult audiences glamorize this false idea that as long as you feel something magical (i.e., lust, a natural biological stimulation towards another person) then sex in its raw form, outside of a marriage covenant is special.

To this notion, I toss up my hands and say, “Chile Puleeassee!” As I vividly recalled my own first time with this friend as she shared her own story, I said something along the lines of “Ooh that story isn’t too great huh?” She replied, “And who does have a great story about losing their virginity (as in what woman outside of a valued marriage covenant with a husband who mutually loves and respects her enough to commit to her before God and man has a story that she is fully proud of)?”

Now maybe she exists somewhere, but in the Kingdom of God this has not been our experience. It is time for some one to tell young ladies out here the truth.

In some instances, peer pressure has been the culprit, some rites of passage to prove that one is big and bad or woman enough to do the deed. In other situations, women have allowed themselves to be set up in romantic environments (i.e. why is this man in your bedroom in the first place? why are you in the den at night playing slow love songs?) You get the picture.

In other tragic moments some women have been forced against their will. God Bless you my sisters.

Whatever your circumstance, no matter your age, no matter how many times you have participated in the act, God has eqipped you with the tools you need to stop TODAY!

Don’t allow the enemy to whisper his lies to you any longer! “Oh you’ve already lost your virginity, so you may as well keep doing it.”  “Oh your first time was crappy, so you have to do it again to redeem that experience.” “Oh, you’re a grown woman, it’s 2014 & how else do you expect to keep/catch a man?”

I could think of Satan’s lies and excuses for you to take less than God’s best for you all day long, but I know you, my smart cookies, already get the picture.
; )

The Bible tells us that “for every temptation there is a way of escape” (Google it for yourself).

Don’t believe this is actually true? Take a moment right now to pause and think back on the last time you did something you weren’t comfortable with……Now remember the moment prior to taking that action when you decided you were going to do it. You get my gist?

Come on Sis! Walk out of this bondage today! You can completely do it! God has God’s loving arms fully extended out to you! Go ahead and allow yourself to be embraced by God’s healing touch today! God is all powerful!

Be Blessed & Love Yourself Right Now!

Girls > Sex Entry #4: Before & After My Move to Atlanta

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This post is difficult for me to write because though I believe that some self-disclosure is necessary so that we may testify, I come from a family that taught me to keep your business private, especially that which may place you in a “negative light” or vulnerable state.

Welp because God brought this memory to me and it is resting on my brain strongly, I know that God is urging me to write this post. I realize that I must be open if I am to truly exercise my obedience to my Heavenly Father.  Here goes a lot of something…

In undergrad, my final major ; ) was psychology.  Some know that since around 7th grade or so I decided that I wanted to be a child psychiatrist.  I determined this because it was apparent that I always wanted to “help” people, a trait that I developed from both sides of my family.  The interesting part is that at an early age, I learned from the very soft, kind heart of my father through his words and occasional actions.  Whereas, my mother at a young age already developed a thick exterior which was also embedded by a soft heart – some miss out on it due to her bold nature and sharp tongue.  I imagine this was exacerbated by my father’s lies and dark lifestyle.

The irony about my father is that as he talked and attempted to “help” others, he has never fully managed to truly help himself.  To this day, my father struggles with drug and alcohol addiction.  Now as with most who have encountered this struggle, there are moments where he has managed to step away from one or the other, but not fully enough to truly live his life.

Anyway, one may say what does this have to do with me (Valencya)?  Well I assure that your foundation has everything to do with how your life begins.  Now back to my “helping nature”.  As I watched my father struggle, I knew that I wanted to “help” people, and one day as I was watching some daytime talk show, I learned of the job title, “child psychiatrist”.  After promptly learning to spell it, I decided that this would be the career I would pursue, as I mentioned around 7th grade, (but it may have been 6th grade actually ; ).

I progressed through primary and secondary school without academic incident, and once I reached my freshman year at the College of Charleston (CofC), I was exposed to FREEDOM. Well freedom has its price.  I soon realized, away from home and away from my mother’s pre-set schedules, I would find myself battling to stay afloat in the water of waves crashing me back and forth.  Eitherway, college had so many great things to offer (so many distractions).  There was interesting academia (some), social life, extra-curricular activities, and more.  I can assure you that I wanted to be a social activist of some form all the while trying to figure out what being on somebody’s pre-med track meant.

While CofC had all sorts of programming in place that was to assist its students, once I finished my SPECTRA program (summer prior to freshman year to get students of color acclimated to college in a majority setting and attain college credits); I had no effective boundaries in place to ensure that I balanced it all.  See advisement wasn’t truly mandatory or authenticated, before it was too late if you get my gist.  I decided to be a Math major because I was invited to be a part of the SCAMP program (http://msps.cofc.edu/academicservices/scamp.php) due to my grades.  In the summer SPECTRA program, I was able to fair pretty well in my pre-calculus program.  This was probably because I took it my senior year in high school and my disciplined friend Scott was able to study with me and keep me on track that summer.  A pre-med track required courses in multiple science areas, but was not contingent upon you having a specific major, so in essence I was hoping to avoid additional biology, chemistry, etc. courses beyond what was needed for medical school and thought I could maintain enough on a math track.

As you hear me mention issues with focus and multi-tasking, you’ve probably guessed that I was more than likely an ADHD kid.  At home, my Mom kept me on a schedule, so this was never an issue for me, but in the big open world without proper guidance I would find myself constantly fighting to hold back the reigns.  The irony is that while in SPECTRA, a professor (Caucasian Lady – important because of America’s history with ill-placement of Black people with mental health issues) asked if I were ever tested for ADHD.  Once I presented this information to my Mom she indicated that we all (my family) probably have it (very high strung people ; ), but we should stay away from medication and stick to our schedules.

This sounds nice in theory, but while in college, no one was near by to keep Valencya on her schedule.  So she spent her time away from class, trying to volunteer in every organization possible so that she could help the kids.  Valencya was a part of everyone’s executive board, because she was “born to lead”.  Valencya was on the choir because she loved her JESUS, and still held an executive board position in the 7th Episcopal District’s (state of South Carolina) Young People’s Division of the AME church which required travel around the state.  Did I mention that after partying on Friday and Saturday nights, Valencya made it a point to attend church nearly every Sunday? Valencya was an RA in her dorm and Valencya was also employed by Gap, Inc. at Banana Republic.  And like most young girls, Valencya was always dating.

Yes, well you are probably thinking, where in the heck did she find time to study?  I assure you that I did not, I simply crammed my way through college, attended class, and took tests sleepy as all get out.  I refused to take any stimulants or any drugs…as a matter of fact, I didn’t have my first alcoholic beverage until the age of 21 (as far as I know).  Seriously. Yes, my peers laughed as I attended my high school senior trip in Cancun, Mexico and asked for all virgin beverages, while everyone else was gladly “throwing ’em back”!  Remember our foundation and background determines how our life begins. So if you remember how I grew up…you can understand my decisions.

Either way, this girl soon learned that you can’t cram your way into medical school so she had to choose what was interesting to her and easier to manage, a psychology degree.   Before anyone tries to protest, I by no means am suggesting that psychology is a field that you can play with, I am just saying that the material was much more interesting to me than molecular biology, or biochemistry, so it was easier for me to digest the info once hearing it in class. So, I stumbled my way through a psychology major and graduated within four years (on time) and made my family proud! This was very important to me.

Having no success with gaining immediate entry into graduate school (found out about a GRE at the last minute, just took it without preparation) and okay grades, I found myself in an awkward position.  So I moved back home to Columbia, SC for the first year following College with a transfer from Banana Republic (BR) until I could land  a “real job”.  No offense to retail…I believe in it honey!  But, it was not what I went to school for, and I didn’t make very much at all as a Sales Associate.

I had my fun with my Banana Republic friends, but soon learned that I needed more money.  I heard about a customer service representative position with Verizon Wireless (VW).  You could be paid to take a course on a computer for several weeks prior to being placed on the floor to take calls.  After making it through a rigorous screening and interview process, I made it!

Well, my Mom was riding my behind the entire time I was at BR and VW pretty much indicating that I was a bum in her eyes, so I quickly moved to Grandma’s house (I now know what her intentions were…Love you Ma)! My Grandmother was the best roommate ever!  Love you Grandma, Muah! ; )

Once I reached the floor at VW, I was completely miserable.  Imagine me a sensitive Southern Girl who demonstrates excellent customer service, fielding calls from irate Americans from the Northeast region of the U.S.  Well, I was in tears and frustrated many days.  What would be next for me?

I recall sitting in an AME conference session at Emmanuel AME Church during a service and listening to the preacher preach his sermon.  In the middle of this service (completely unrelated to sermon), the Holy Spirit whispered you will move to Atlanta and you will lead a great organization.  I was so excited about the news that I nearly jumped out of my seat and I quickly began to probe God for additional answers.  God being God gave me nothing else.  I thought God meant a non-profit organization so that I could help others, so I immediately began to put in jobs for NPOs to no avail.

Through the assistance of my dear friend Travis, I learned of a management position with Target (c).  I made it through the rigorous interview process only to learn that the store manager who wanted me did not want to offer the Senior Team Leader position, I was advised of, but a Team Leader position instead which was a demotion (my position titles may be inaccurate, but you get my point).  I now know this was so that the manager could justify offering me substandard pay while requiring me to do double work.  Believing it would be easier to get a job in my desired field while living in the city, I promptly accepted the position and jetted my 23 years young self to Atlanta!

I promptly discovered misery again.  I was overworked and underpaid.  I lost weight unnecessarily. I barely had time to spend with my new boyfriend, Jerrell ; ) could barely look for a desired position, and cried myself to sleep many nights.  Having experienced more than I could bear around the 6th month mark, I remember closing one night just before my beautiful Valentine’s Day birthday and being completely miserable.  It was then that I decided to quit cold turkey.  Being the lady that I was, I put in a two weeks notice the next morning, but my prideful store manager said it was unnecessary because my replacement was coming in, which was a lie.

At this point, I was unsuccessful at securing a position elsewhere.  I was left unemployed for 6 months (six is becoming a theme at this point in my life). All the while I was arranging meetings with my social activist girlfriends in efforts to start our NPO, but we were just spinning our wheels and not moving. You should know that I worked at VW for about 6 months as well.  I was unable to secure a basic job and was flocking from job fair to job fair with my gas tank on E, nervous about the next months rent and car payment.

Desperate, I made myself the perfect prey & here come’s my Girls > Sex moment.  I can recall not being on the best of terms with my then boyfriend, now husband, Jerrell, and riding through a shopping plaza with my windows down dead in the middle of summer in Georgia because my air was not working.   Well I must have been driving pretty slow because some man probably at least 15 years my senior was able to get my attention.  “Hey Baby Girl, how you”?  Somewhere this conversation turns into feeling like he’s making a pass at me and I indicate that I am dating someone.  “Well, Damn Baby, you got a man and you riding around with no air…broke as hell!”  “Ooohh and yo gas tank is on E”.  If I’m not mistaken this man even offers me gas money.  Back then, I’m young, naive, hot and tired.  So instead of shutting this conversation down, I’m sitting there entertaining it and going back and forth with this man.  I don’t know how this happened, but at some  point the man offered me a position as his Executive Assistant.  He stated that he owned a trucking company and his wife, former assistant recently left him so he needed some help.

Gullable as ever, I agreed to meet this man at his “home” office, yes you heard me.  My next few days were filled with being in this mans home, sorting laundry, doing his daughter’s hair, following him around where he publicly berated me and even tried to withhold my payment to manipulate me.  The most scary position I placed myself in was when he called me into his bedroom, where I found him laying in his bathrobe as he asked me to, “give him a little bit”.  I refused, but in a playful manner not wanting to tick him off.  He then began to put me down and indicated that he wanted his wife anyway and not me.  By the grace of God, he did not force himself upon me and I promptly resigned, but was still silly enough to entertain his phone calls where he attempted to verbally abuse me.  As I said, God is faithful and I was saved from the hands of the enemy.

This man even got my nails done while I was “working for him”.  Knowing what I now know, he could have been attempting to groom me for prostitution.  This very situation traps young girls, unfortunately pre-teens, teenagers, along with some women who find themselves between a rock and a hard place on a daily basis.  As a society, we must continue to speak truth so that other’s might be set free.  Hallelujah!

For those of you who care, following this incident, my life went this way…

Well one day I was tired of pursuing employment “just cause” and while attending a job fair at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, I made a decision.  Instead of flocking from table to table to talk to people offering positions I was clearly uninterested in, I decided to pick up a map and seek out nonprofits only.

To my surprise, there was only one, Hands On Atlanta (HOA), member of the HandsOn Network.  When I reached the HOA table I was sad to learn that they were not hiring, but were instead seeking AmeriCorps volunteers.  The irony was thick considering I was talked out of not submitting my completed PeaceCorps application the year prior, instead my friend Crystal who sat by my side during my application process joined the PeaceCorps (as usual, look at GOD)!

Though not what I wanted initially, the AmeriCorps volunteer position was quite attractive.  It included a biweekly stipend and Education award, on the frontend.  My intention was to woo the Hands On Atlanta team into hiring me for  a more permanent position while serving.  Meanwhile, it was summer and this position didn’t start until August. How would I make it?  God blessed me with a friend who told me to not mention my degree and apply for a server position, so off to Gladys & Ron’s I went, so I was sustained over the summer.

Little did I know that God had abundance waiting for me on the other side.  Out of 100+ AmeriCorps members at HOA, I alone was selected for the one University position at Oglethorpe, while my peers were placed to tutor students in Atlanta’s schools.  At Oglethorpe (OU), I was provided free housing, a free meal plan, free trips, and more!  Can you say overflow, but God wasn’t done.  After I completed my first term (10 months), I decided to complete a second, as I was welcomed by AmeriCorps and HOA.  During this time period I pursued information about Georgia State University’s School Psychology Master of Education/Specialist of Education and Bachelor’s to Ph.D. program.

I was blessed to meet with candid professors, Varjas & Roach, who shared with me the things I would need to complete to make my application more stellar due to my “okay” undergraduate GPA.  2.679 or so if I remember right ; ), C+ ish for you people still caught up in numbers.  I was also advised of the specific GRE score that I needed, that I would need to complete a research study under the advisement of a professor, and that I would need to take a graduate course to prove that I was capable of the work.  If you think anything like I’m thinking, when I walked out of their offices, I was like “these people must be crazy…how in the world will I complete all of these things in less than a year”? That’s when I heard a still, small voice say, “just try”.  In essence, just try ME, THE ONE TRUE LIVING, ALMIGHTY GOD!

Would you know that my God placed me on a fast track for success!  God was like, “you are working at a University right and the people do love you right”? I was like, “okay, you win God, I’ll give it a try”.  At OU, I was prepared to pay for a course with my AmeriCorps education award, but they were like technically you work here, so it’s free!  Then I learned that an Education award could be used for supplies, books, etc.  So I was able to secure a much needed computer and pay for the $1000 Kaplan course to get my GRE to the level that was required.  Finally, I made arrangements to meet with a psychology professor at OU who guided and supervised my research study.

Being practical about the amount of hours I had in a day (first time ever), I met with my supervisor, to discuss how I could conduct the study using data I collected from activities I participated in with youth at schools that were served during my normal service hours.  All of this was achieved with the proper consent of course.  Somehow by the end of that year, I completed a graduate level course with an A, successfully completed my GRE course & scored on target, completed a research study, and secured a letter of recommendation from the president of OU!  As if this wasn’t enough, of course I was able to enter the School Psych program at GSU, and around my second year or so, I learned that the graduate credits I earned at OU were successfully transferable to my GSU coursework!  WON’T GOD DO IT?!

So this my friends is probably the longest post you have ever seen me write, but when I tell you that my Heavenly Father woke me up with such a quickening in my spirit, I knew it was necessary that I share this!  You all be liberated today my friends!  Let nothing hold you back!  Remember that you are enough!  Remember God is faithful and He (how I refer to God, but God can be whoever you need God to be in your life) will never let you down!

Be blessed & take God’s Peace with you my Friends!

Girls > Sex Entry #3: Under 12 Years of Age Provided $ for Sex

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Today I had the privilege of streaming service of “The Church” (church led by Pastors Jasper W. Williams III and Alecia Williams) and as God would have it today’s service was directly applicable to our “Girls > Sex” project.  It has been a while since I have visited a service at “The Church”, but true to what I have experienced in the past the Pastors featured a panel during Sunday worship that provided integral information to our community.

This information touched an array of topics dealing with CSEC (Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children) and longing for absent fathers.  Of particular interest to me was a female panelist (Dorsey sp?) in her 40s who candidly shared the trauma of her childhood with the congregants and listeners streaming online.  

Dorsey shared details of a physically present mother, but one who along with her father abandoned her due to drug addictions.  At an early age, Dorsey was molested &/raped by her mother’s boyfriend.  Specifically before, or around the age of 12 years, Dorsey’s sex offender provided her with a $20 bill prior to committing his heinous act upon her body.  This action confused her, but it was the beginning of Dorsey’s prostitution, as she termed it, but thank God someone interjected and stated that children cannot be considered as prostitutes.  This individual more appropriately suggested that children are instead the victims of sexual exploitation.  

As many have, Dorsey indicated that in her mother’s home she and her other siblings lived an impoverished lifestyle with many days and nights without electricity and food.  One comment comes to mind as Dorsey recalled a $400 electricity bill while providing sexual services at $20/$30 per occurrence.  This indicated that she endured a lot of abuse in efforts to survive childhood.  If my memory serves me correctly, Dorsey stated that by the age of 12 she experienced 49 sexual partners, mostly adult men. Dorsey also indicated that she was from a very small town and the abuse she experienced was known by many; yet the men willingly “passed her around”.  

Despite many dark days, Dorsey was able to hitchhike her way from a rural town in Georgia to Norfolk, Virginia to reunite with relatives who clothed and housed her.  Though guilt brought a young Dorsey back home to Georgia, she eventually returned to Norfolk and attributes her success to family and friends of the family alike who provided her with food, shelter, and clothing for many years.  Dorsey was able to successfully graduate from high school; yet she believed that her poor GPA would not afford her the opportunity to attend anyone’s college. 

As God would have it, Dorsey became zealous in her desire to pursue college, and pressed her way through many closed doors to become a student at Morris Brown University.  Dorsey is even a happily married woman with children, and a published author.  She attributes her purposeful and happy life to the love of God and positive role models, including men who never violated her.  

 The panel concluded with Atlanta Radio Personality, KD Bowe, and Pastor Jasper among others’ discussion of the role that a child’s longing for his or her father can play on that child’s life throughout adulthood.  This seemed applicable as Dorsey even commented that in her 40s she stills cries about her father’s absence in her life.  Dorsey and the panelists suggest that a good and present father can save his family from trauma such as what was experienced in this situation. With an absent father, I, too, can relate to this story.  

Other topics discussed included the role of media, the immediate availability of pornography to our children due to internet access on many technological devices, especially phones.  KD Bowe even shared a story about how social media sites that seem harmless can expose a child to pornography.  Specifically a recent television show stars’ leaked sex tape was shared on many social media platforms that children are accessing.  This activity sometimes occurs unbeknownst to parents.  My favorite comment (paraphrased) from KD Bowe was that, “every time I click on pornography, I am supporting it and lining the pockets of those who create it.  I can assure that no young girl says that she wants to be a pornstar when she grows up.  It is only after she has been violated in someway that she enters into this role.” 

If you desire to learn more about “The Church” and its programs, please visit their website at http://www.thechurchinfo.org/. 

I pray that this story will speak out to you and that you will fight in your own way to save our children and our families from sexual exploitation!

God Bless! Push!

Girls > Sex: Entry #2 – Sex is Everywhere. What are we Going to do about it?

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As we are swamped by media: informative, political, and social in digital and print forms; it has always been apparent that sex is everwhere.

The question is as we have pretty much settled into the notion of “anything goes”, what does this mean for our children, the state of our collective societies, and humanity as a whole?

At what point will we relinquish the double standards, as they pertain to men vs. women?

When will we raise our boys under the same auspices as our girls? In the manner that teaches them to respect the opposite sex and treat them as equal human beings?

It does not add up when we tell our boys to “go through” as many girls as possible; yet urge our young ladies to “keep their legs closed.”  As you can imagine at the end of the night, some form of compromise will take place. 

Typically an unfavorable decision is made. At the hands of a young man, not taught to operate within any boundaries, a young lady may find herself at the short end of the stick…  Sometimes the victim of some form of sexual assault or heinous crime.

Are you mad that we’re talking about it? Good. You should be!

Meanwhile, I leave you with some food for thought.  Check out these two articles. The happenings discussed are the result of a “boundaryless”society that will achieve capital & lust by any means necessary!

God’s Blessings & Peace to You My Friends!

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/05/13/perverted-christian-dads-blame-teens-dress-for-their-dirty-thoughts-kick-her-out-of-prom/

http://nsnbc.me/2014/05/12/how-colonialism-benefits-from-boko-harams-mass-kidnapping-of-girls/

Girls > Sex Entry 1: “Words from an Overcomer” – Sex Addiction

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In the most unlikely circumstance, I have been privileged to cross paths with an 86 year old man who feels a calling to share his story with overcoming what he attributes to be a spiritual battle with sex. He has requested to remain anonymous, but feels so strongly about this calling that if any man desired to converse with him due to an experience with this same struggle, he is willing to make himself available. If this is you, please feel free to submit a message to the following email address, GIRLSGTSEX@GMAIL.COM. Your email questions/concerns will be provided to him and replied to accordingly. Below is his story in his own words. ~V. Thompson

I know for a fact that I was in bondage to a pornography addiction.  During this time in my life, Satan was in control.  Satan gave me the exact words to say to get a woman to do whatever I wanted her to do for me.  I learned how to manipulate women to do whatever I wanted as I viewed them as objects for my sole pleasure. I am now proud to say at 86 years old that I was saved at the age of 55 and I know that God has called me to share my story with young men so that they might avoid the lifestyle that I succumbed to live.  Here is my story.

When I was 4 years old my father shot my mother and committed suicide.  Consequently, after losing both of my parents, I was raised by my Grandmother.  My Grandmother abused me and eventually placed me in an orphanage because I frequently ran away.

At age 18, a man at work gave me my first “dirty book”.  Having never been to a church, being very angry at women and God, and not knowing love, I looked for love in sex.  Satan told me, “the next woman you have sex with, will surely love you.” I got my first sex partner pregnant and had to marry her.  She ran around and so we divorced.  My second wife married me to get away from abuse.

I even chose an apparent happily married woman to seduce.  Satan taught me what to say and what to do and so I lived two lives.  At first it was exciting, but the lives and neglect of my two children, my wife, and my job became overwhelming.

My second wife and I divorced when the kids were grown.  I then married one of the women I had seduced.  She had sex with me to get even with her husband.  Between marriages, I had a PO Box for correspondence with swingers, watching X-rated movies, and group sex. The need kept building…peeping Tom and stalking.  If I hadn’t had a good job for years that I loved, I believe I could have gone into causing physical harm.

Every serial killer started on porn.  At age 55, in deep depression and my third marriage failing, I gave up on life.  My father’s suicide kept me from doing that, but I did consider pretending to be crazy to get away from what I had become.

Then a man led me to Christ, but didn’t follow up.  The Holy Spirit came to me and said if I stayed in the marriage, He would find us a Christian counselor and a discipliner to help me exchange my old mind patterns for thoughts about Jesus, study the Bible, and truly love my wife.  It took some time, but I believe I could never have been clean, and safe and sane without Christ, and a discipliner.  I could have caught and given away many different diseases over the years and I thank Him for that protection. I am 86 now and I love Him so much because He forgave me so much and set me free to live again.  I would be willing to do one-on-one mentoring to help bring any man away from that hell.