I was talking to a friend and he introduced me to a new concept. He proposed that, “if you’re walking around with a bucket of sweet water when someone bumps into you, it will get all over you two, and the same occurs if you walk around with a bucket of acid.”
In the course of this conversation the friend thought I was being used to minister to him; all the while, he was also being used to minister to me. You see, I have some unresolved issues with my father. For those of you who follow my writings, you are aware that my father has a history of struggling with drug and alcohol abuse. I have surveyed some of the issues that I perceive my siblings to have as a result of it, and have yet to fully examine myself.
To that point, listening to my friend’s story as circumstances would have it, a father with a daughter who won’t speak to him, I have learned of the pain I have caused myself by “judging a man before walking a day in his moccasins”.
This means that I have always, somewhere in the back of my mind, judged my father’s actions as being done “to” me. When in actuality, his actions have had absolutely nothing to do with me. As I listen to my friend’s struggles with pain that he has carried around for many long years of his life, I have resolved that I don’t want to become an old bitter woman resenting my father, and others who have little significance in my life because they took an action that reminds me of the sense of abandonment I have felt due to my father’s lifestyle.
In different spaces of my life as an adult, my father has made efforts to reach out to me; quite frankly my choice to receive him or reciprocate depends on my mood during the current time. I desire to change this today. I desire to see him as the human being he is isolated from any title he possesses by relation: be that father, former husband, brother, uncle, grandfather, friend, lover, etc. Just imagine what good there could come in the world if we could all take a step back and view a man for just that, being a man. Understanding that each man is faced with his own series of tests, trials, and dilemmas. And each man does the best that he knows how given his circumstances, in most instances choosing the most accessible pain medicine available to ease his re-occurring woes that he has found too difficult to bear.
The irony for us all, is that we pursue different options to treat our symptoms temporarily; yet run from Christ who possesses the only true antidote. I won’t leave you here, because this notion does not seem attainable for many of us because we get lost in the grandioseness of God and the religiosity that the world has painted on our God. What I will leave you with is the notion of honesty. This is,in fact, a never ending journey. It is up to us to wake up everyday and choose the substance that will perfect us overtime. Notice I said “every day”. This is not a one puff, cure all situation.
Now that I have gotten completely naked before you, I pray that you will have the courage to get completely naked before Christ. As always, He’s waiting.
Love to All!
Psalm 34:19 “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.”
Jeremiah 30:17 “For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord.”
Isaiah 53:4-5 “Surely He hath borne our griefs (Hebrew: sicknesses) and carried our sorrows (Hebrew: pains) yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and by His stripes we are healed.”