Girls > Sex Entry #7: Words from an Overcomer of Sex Addiction Part 3

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In the most unlikely circumstance, I have been privileged to cross paths with an 86 year old man who feels a calling to share his story with overcoming what he attributes to be a spiritual battle with sex. He has requested to remain anonymous, but feels so strongly about this calling that if any man desired to converse with him due to an experience with this same struggle, he is willing to make himself available. If this is you, please feel free to submit a message to the following email address, GIRLSGTSEX@GMAIL.COM. Your email questions/concerns will be provided to him and replied to accordingly. Below is his story in his own words. ~V. Thompson

Be sure to go back through the blog history to search for our previous posts related to the  Girls > Sex (TM) Ministry.

 A Letter to Mom

Dear Mom:

I am 86 now and you died many years ago, but I write this for several reasons: to honor what you did right, to forgive you for the wrong, to walk in your shoes, and to pass on our story to others so it will live on and maybe bring them the same healing that it will bring to us.

Grandma and Grandpa teamed up with you to work in restaurants and that’s where you met Dad.  Grandma didn’t want you to get married at all.  Grandma’s mother made her quit school at 6th grade to work in their general store.  She wouldn’t let Grandma get married so Grandma pretended to be pregnant and shortly after, so you were born.

It would seem stronger to do to someone else what hurt us so much.  Perhaps once we get free, the only way we see to never be controlled again is to control everybody else around us.

When I was 4 you went to a movie with a man and Dad found out.  Due to the poor economy and what you did, he overreacted and shot you, then killed himself.  You remarried and had my half sister, and I hated all of you.  I now understand that you couldn’t raise us 3 alone, but we felt so abandoned.

Grandma abused me and I had no where to run to.  I did recently find some old papers and saw you and Dad were married in June 1926 and I was born in December 1927.  This meant that you waited 9 months before you got pregnant and that I was planned for and wanted.

I can’t remember back beyond age 4, but I can picture in my heart how you loved me, had me, the joy and pleasure of teaching me to walk and talk.  I did remember you called me ____ (original first name). You went to Grandma’s house to have my siblings and I went with you.  We had such fun!

The economy went bad in 1929 (Great Depression), and with no family support it had to be terrible on you and Dad.  I’m sure you had no money to go out or even for a babysitter.  You must have gotten worn out with us 3 kids 24/7 and so you were tempted to go out.  I forgive you and I love you.  I have prayed to God that you and Dad forgive each other and that we can all be together in heaven for eternity.


________ (original first name)


Keeping up with VALENCYA updates ; ) 

1) Purchase my Children’s Book via link below image:

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2) Download my song, God Please Clean My Room (from your favorite player, but itunes link is below):


3) Book Me for Preaching, Speaking, & Workshops to all ages and populations via  – I cover an array of topics, some of my most frequent include:

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Lord keep me from Self-Sabotage

The title of this post came from a simple prayer I sent up this past weekend.

Amazingly, I have been blessed to meet a lot of people who are doing great things during this new season of my life.

Consequently, I have been exposed to a number of opportunities-this week alone. With that being said, they all appear to be fabulous – talkin’ bedazzled with the rhinestone on top. ; )

But how many of you know “all that glitters ain’t gold”, or as Mark deRoux has been noted to say, and I paraphrase, even if you are doing “good” things, if God didn’t will for you to do them, they become sinful because they are keeping you from doing His perfect will.

Wow. Meditate on that for a few seconds.

I know this to be true. Because of my personality, I am automatically attracted to a lot of things, and function best with more than one thing on my plate – yet, even with my multiple talents and interests, there is still such a thing known as “doing too much”.

And to recognize when I am juggling too many things, it is important for me to:

#1 Pray to achieve God’s will.
#2 Pray for discernment.
#3 Have patience.
#4 Listen for that still, small voice (Yes, He still speaks this way ; )
#5 Be obedient.
#6 Block out all naysayers ( Even your Momma – love you!)
#7 Just do it already-on His terms!
#8 Humble yourself at all times by exalting Him.
#9 When others praise you, lift Him up and give Him the Glory!
#10 Take Action!

*Ready. Set. Go!

God Bless You Love!

Jump out the Box!

It’s been a long time since I have blogged (probably 2 weeks…I don’t know I’ve lost track.)  I have been seemingly busy with preparing for my May 6th graduation, which means trying to stay on top of my portfolio, complete my internship responsibilities, be a good research team member, etc.  Outside of grad-school, I have been preparing for an upcoming event, trying to be a good wife, trying to launch and manage a mentoring organization, pondering my future (where will I be working next year, looks like I won’t be starting a Ph.D. just yet, will I have a baby, what else can I do for my business and for Jerrell’s business?)

I promise this list could go on for days.  Be glad that I stopped when I did ; )

I am what the world would probably refer to as a jack-of-all trades, a term that I absolutely loathe. 

I prefer to think of myself as something like a …

Creative Specialist

(shying away from the term Master

Creator – I believe that’s

reserved by Almighty God…

just love Him BTW). 

Anyway, I hate boxes. You know those big boxes that people like to categorize people in.  I hate them for the mere fact that I simply just won’t fit.  Yeah that’s right.  Please don’t mistake my confidence for concete (see I can’t even spell it…conceit j/k ; ) or narcissism, I promise it’s simply self-love + faith in God that constantly reminds me, I can, in-fact, do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13), and guess what….


Yes you can!  God believes in you.  And I have a whole team that believes in you too!  And so does your inner circle.  So what are you waiting on?  Kick the lid off of that box and just do it already!  Whatever “it” is.


I love you much!  And would love to talk to you, and even pray for you with my team, but we can only know what you need if you submit your prayer requests.  Hit me up.  God Bless!



It is important to keep a fresh perspective.  It is important to remember that God blesses us with fresh new mercies every day (Lamentations 3:23)!

On our best days, we make mistakes.  Even on our best days, we can find ways to be hyper-critical of ourselves if we aren’t careful.  How many of you will make a mistake and ponder on it for the rest of your day?  I do! (Raises Hand ; )

Even after I have received a verbal affirmation of forgiveness from the person whom I believe I have offended…these thoughts seemingly try to linger on.  On my least self-aware, or least meta-cognitive days, when I am not managing my thoughts or directly paying attention to what I am thinking, thoughts of criticism seem to run rampant in my mind.  These mistakes can be as simple as over-sleeping and neglecting to remember a meeting, yet I will find ways to beat myself up.

Usually these thoughts revolve around what others may think of me.  How will an action that I took, intentionally or unintentionally be misconstrued today?   These are some very unhealthy thoughts and if I were to be candid I would say that I have battled with them for my entire life.  I can say that I struggle with them less and less as I grow, so I thank God for progress, yet human nature continues to remind me that they are still there.

I can hear my Grandmother’s words loud and clear, even as I draft this post…”Valencya, people are going to talk about you for the rest of your life and there is nothing you can do about it, so don’t worry about it.”  As much as I can hear her, it is a battle that I have yet to overcome….  

on my own. 

I am rejoicing internally as I now realize that God didn’t give me these feelings so that I can agonize over them or put on my superwoman cape so that I may rescue myself.  He allowed me to experience these feelings so that I will gain greater humility as I continue on the path that He has laid out for me.  He allowed me to have these feelings so that I would constantly draw upon His strength which lies within me to re-gain

a fresh perspective every day. 

For just as the Bible reads in Lamentations 3:23 New Living Translation (2007), “Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”

And I thank God for that!  I pray that you will be encouraged to do the same. 

Now think easy and keep a fresh perspective ; )